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So, like, it’s a job, yeah? Dangerous? Maybe! You’re touchin’ strangers, all oiled up—slippery stuff! I heard this story once, some dude in Thailand, he’s massagin’ this lady, and bam—she’s a princess! For real! Didn’t know ‘til guards busted in! Crazy, right? Made me laugh so hard I fell off my rock!

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Finally, the train arrives. I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he just rolled in a field of onions and a lady who’s knitting like it’s the Olympics. I’m trying to breathe, but it’s like a sauna in there. I’m thinking, “This is why I don’t take public transport!” But then I see the scenery outside. The rolling hills, the cute little houses on Station Road. Mirfield is actually pretty stunning.

Chaos as HGV and bus crash shuts Hudderfield Road in Mirfield