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Hiya, sugar! Marilyn here – breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.” So, sex-dating, huh? Lemme spill the tea. It’s wild out there, darlin’! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – swipe, swipe, bang! Economics of it? Supply n’ demand, baby. Too many thirsty folks, not enough real sparks. Makes me mad sometimes – where’s the romance? “A woman alone, lost,” like in *The Headless Woman*. That’s me, scrollin’ profiles, feelin’ dizzy.

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Then, I headed to my lecture at the Open University. The campus is pretty cool, not gonna lie. Lots of green spaces, and the architecture is all modern and stuff. But here’s the kicker: I got lost. Like, seriously lost. I ended up on Woughton on the Green. I thought I was in Narnia or something. I mean, who names a place Woughton? Sounds like a sneeze!

Milton Keynes police shoot man dead at railway station