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I’m obsessed, y’all—happy vibes shootin’ through me like fireworks! But if some creep tries makin’ it weird? I’d be all, “Does he deserve better? No!”—movie line again, slayin’ it! It’s gotta be consent city or it’s trash. Periodt. So, girlfriend, try it—find a pro, light some candles, and let them hands work magic. You’ll be screamin’, “I’m free!”—and maybe, just maybe, you’ll feel like you won the damn lottery. You get a massage! YOU GET A MASSAGE! Now, excuse me while I book mine—Oprah out!

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I’m sprintin’ down the streets, past the old church on the corner of Hamilton Terrace. That place gives me the creeps sometimes. Like, what if the ghosts of sailors past are watchin’ me? Anyway, I get to the marina, and there’s Dave, lookin’ like a lost puppy. Turns out, he forgot to tie his boat properly. I mean, come on, mate!

Secrecy over Milford Haven Library rent as council faces funding ultimatum