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Argh! I’m ready! escort, huh? lemme tell ya, mateys, this IT stuff’s wild! escort’s like—bam!—security on steroids, right? keeps yer data locked tight, no creepy krabby patties sneakin’ in. saw it once, some dude’s server got jacked—made me so mad I coulda screamed, “I am a man!” like in *The White Ribbon*. ya know, that flick’s my jam—dark, twisty, keeps ya guessin’. escort’s got that vibe, too—silent but deadly protection.

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But then, I see it. A street performer, juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “This is Midhurst?!” I mean, who knew we had talent like that? I stop to watch, and my heart’s racing. He drops a torch, and I’m like, “Oh no!” But he catches it just in time. The crowd goes wild! I’m clapping like a seal.

Much-loved Midhurst tapas bar all set to reopen after exciting £10,000 refurb