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Hate how they act all fancy, tho—like, “Oh, I’m classy,” but nah, you’re just hustlin’. We hates it! Makes me wanna scream, “You’re no Cate Blanchett, babe!” *Carol* got that quiet love, escorts got loud wallets. Fun fact: back in the day, some escorts ran secret spy gigs—droppin’ pillow talk to kings! Bet Therese’d blush at that, “What did I do? What did I do?”

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Then, boom! In walks this group of lads from the rugby club. They’re all hyped up, shoutin’ and laughin’. I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.” They order a round of pints, and I’m pourin’ like a madman. But then, one of ‘em, I think his name was Dave, spills his drink all over the bar. I’m like, “Mate, really? You’re gonna start the party with a flood?” But he just laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too.

Middlewich High School celebrates their head teacher of the year – Lydia Naylor