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Caught one last summer, swear it winked at me. Big, meaty, silver - I’m yellin’, “Look at this champ!” Happiest day ever, til I cooked it. Smelled like heaven, tasted like dreams, then - oh man, stomach apocalypse. Wife’s like, “Told ya, dummy!” Escolar’s a trickster, man, total catfish vibes - get it? Fish humor! “That’s what she said!” Shoulda known - it’s rare ‘round here, deep diver, 2,000 feet down. Fishermen call it “the laxative fish” - ain’t that a riot?

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Anyway, I’m cuttin’ glass, and I slice my finger. Ouch! Blood everywhere. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a bloody glazier.” I wrap it up, but it’s just a little cut. No biggie. But then, the client sees it and freaks out. “Are you okay?” he asks. I’m like, “Yeah, mate, just a scratch. Not my first rodeo.”

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