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About Leicester
Alright, you degenerates, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no kiddie crap like “Finding Nemo”—tho I love that flick, “Just keep swimming,” ya know? Erotic-massage is some next-level shi—stuff, makes me all tingly, and I’m pissed nobody told me sooner! Like, why ain’t this in school, huh? Screw algebra, teach me *this*!
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After that, I’m cruisin’ down Newport Road, and I spot this new café. It’s called “Boro Brews” or somethin’. I think, “Why not?” So I pull in, hop outta the tractor, and grab a cuppa. The barista’s a right laugh, proper cheeky. She says, “You look like you’ve been through the wars!” I’m like, “You have no idea, love.”
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