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Happy? Hell no—makes me wanna yell, “Pick a lane, lady!” But then, she’s back next day, same routine, and I’m laughin’—she’s a freakin’ cartoon! Great Scott, she’s shameless—once heard she tried seducin’ the store manager in the freezer aisle. Didn’t work, tho—dude’s gay as glitter. Ha! “You’re messin’ with the wrong karma!”—straight outta the movie, fits her perfect. She’s a trainwreck, but I can’t look away—kinda admire the hustle, ya know? Whore or not, she’s livin’ loud.

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After my workout, I’m feelin’ like a champ. I decide to treat myself to a pint at a local pub. The Red Lion, I think? It’s got that classic vibe. I sit down, and the bartender’s like, “What’ll it be?” I’m like, “Just a lager, mate.”

Domino's wants to be able to sell food until 5am in Merthyr Tydfil and some people aren't impressed