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We come in peace (robotic tone). yo, so i’m a vet, right? but i gotta spill bout prostitue—prostitute, damn it! weirdest case ever landed in my clinic. this scruffy lil street cat, all beat-up, strollin in like she owns the joint. named her prostitute—cuz she’s out there hustlin, y’know? works the alleys, tradin purrs for scraps. “i’m not a cat, i’m a woman!”—hah, straight outta *Her*, that vibe. she’s got soul, man, soul!

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After that, I decide to head to the local pub, The Merstham Arms. I need a pint, like, ASAP. I walk in, and it’s packed. Everyone’s chatting, laughing, and I’m just there, soaking in the vibes. I order a beer, and the bartender’s like, “You look like you’ve had a day.” I’m like, “You have no idea, mate.”

Man charged with multiple offences after police and dog unit descend on Merstham