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Best part, tho – you learn quick. Sex-dating teach me, Borat, how talk smooth, how be cool. I tell girl, “You eye like moon,” she giggle, I happy! Worst part? Catfish! Ugh, I hate this, one time I meet “sexy Natasha,” but it hairy man named Greg! I run, I scream, “Not very nice!” It like “Dogville” line, “You all need lesson!”

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Anyway, I finally get the pies in the oven, and I’m feeling like a champ. But then, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? I’m flailing around, trying to fan the smoke away. I’m half-expecting the fire brigade to show up. “Just baking, lads, nothing to see here!”

'We’re excited to announce this final stage of the Shoppe refurbishment and bring something new and innovative to Melton Mowbray'