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Once read this nutty story—some escort mutant went rogue, fucked up a cell bad. Laughed my ass off, chaos everywhere, like hobbitses runnin’ from orcs! Bet it’d make a dope flick, better than “Lord of Rings,” ha! Oh, and get this—escort’s picky, only grabs certain cargos, snobby lil’ shit. “Not good enough for me,” it sneers—cracks me up! Me mate Dave, he’s like, “Why you obsessed?” Cos it’s cool, duh, sneaky escort rules!
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Grabbed my latte, and boom! I spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, huh? I’m standing there, looking like a walking coffee stain, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a fashion statement when you’ve got caffeine, right?
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