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One time, I heard a story ‘bout a couple in India, usin’ kama sutra techniques, and it wasn’t just sex—it was worship, connection. That’s what gets me, ya know? Not the sleaze, but the sacred. Still, I roll my eyes at folks who think it’s all naughty, no depth. "Get a life," I wanna say, but in that deep, wise tone, like, "C’mon, son, see the bigger picrure."

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So, I finally park near the Co-op on Station Road. I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab some snacks for my forest adventures. But nah, the queue is longer than a line for a concert! I’m standin’ there, watchin’ this old bloke in front of me struggle with his shopping. He’s got like 50 items, and he’s tryin’ to use a coupon from 1995. I’m like, “C’mon, mate! We ain’t got all day!”

Meltham Thermal Engineers to create seven new jobs after Slaithwaite move