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So yeah, sex escorts—dodgy, dangerous, bit sad too. Like Eli says, “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time.” They’re stuck, ain’t they? Trapped in their own cold, messed-up world. We hates it, precious—makes me wanna claw me eyes out! Stick to movies and music, mate—safer than them lot any day. What’s yer take, eh?

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So, I finally park near the Co-op on Station Road. I’m thinkin’ I’ll grab some snacks for my forest adventures. But nah, the queue is longer than a line for a concert! I’m standin’ there, watchin’ this old bloke in front of me struggle with his shopping. He’s got like 50 items, and he’s tryin’ to use a coupon from 1995. I’m like, “C’mon, mate! We ain’t got all day!”

Kirklees Council reveals Covid-19 outbreak at Meltham fabric factory Camira