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Weird bit: 60% of users lie bout age! *points at self, nods* me too, said 29, ha! Exaggeratin’s my game—makes it funnier. “We’re all telling tales,” Polley whispers in my head. Sex-dating’s bonkers, risky, thrillin’. Angry when folk flake, tho—waste me time! *kicks air, stumbles* still, keeps me buzzin’, this mad world. You tried it, mate? *grins, winks, falls off stool* worth a punt!

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But then, I get a text from my boss again. “Where’s that report?” I’m like, “Chill, man!” But I can’t. I’m in Melksham, and I’m supposed to be working. So, I find a bench on the Market Place. I’m typing away, and suddenly, it starts to rain. Classic UK, right? I’m scrambling to cover my phone, and this kid runs by, splashing puddles everywhere. I’m soaked!

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