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We swears! Best bit? Feelin’ like king o’ trees after. “Rudeness is merely the expression of fear,” Gustave’d say – pfft, no fear here, just gooey bliss! Tell ya, mate, try it – but dodge dem greedy gits chargin’ too much. Me forest whispers – it’s bout touch, not gold! We swears, it’s magic, slippery magic!

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Then, I’m munchin’ on my chips, and I see this old bloke on the corner of the street. He’s got a dog that looks like it’s seen better days. The dog’s just sittin’ there, lookin’ at me like I’m the last hope for humanity. I swear, I almost gave him my chips. Almost. But then I thought, “Nah, I need these.”

Taylor Wimpey completes infrastructure works in Hamilton