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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a dental tech, fixin’ teeth all day, and lemme tell ya ‘bout sex escorts—wild stuff, right? Judge Judy style, sharp as my dental drill, “Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain!”—that’s what I say when folks sugarcoat this gig. It ain’t all glam like in movies, nah, it’s gritty, real messy sometimes. Watched *Toni Erdmann*—you know, my fave—where that dad’s all awkward, tryna bond with his kid? Reminds me of escorts, puttin’ on a mask, playin’ a part. “Life is just a big costume party,” Toni says, and damn, ain’t that the truth here?

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After that, I needed a break. So, I head over to the café on Bakewell Road. Best scones in town, I swear! I grab a cuppa and just sit there, watching the world go by. I see kids playing, couples walking hand in hand, and I’m reminded why I love this place. Matlock’s got its quirks, but it’s home.

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