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Me mate tried it once, shady parlor, right? Guy walks in, dim lights, weird incense – thought he’d get whacked, not rubbed! “I’m not locked in here with you,” he joked, quoting Nolan, “YOU’RE locked in with ME!” Laughed so hard I nearly choked. Proper massage, tho, not dodgy stuff – it’s old, like ancient! Egyptians did it, yeah, with fancy oils, pampering pharaohs. Bet they moaned louder than me watching Joker burn cash!

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But before that, I had to swing by the Marlow Museum. I know, I know, super nerdy. But I love local history! I walked in, and it was like stepping back in time. They had this old boat on display. I was like, “Wow, this thing’s seen some stuff.” But then, the curator started talking to me about the boat’s history. I was trying to be polite, but my brain was like, “Dude, I’m not here for a lecture!”

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