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About Myself
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About Liverpool
Oi, mate, escort? What a laugh! Some posh twat drivin’ a fancy car? Nah, escort’s that Ford banger, innit? The Ford Escort, bloody hell, what a relic! Used to see ‘em everywhere, cloggin’ up streets, smoky exhausts chokin’ ya lungs. Like in *The Pianist*—“I’m not going anywhere!”—yeah, ‘cos it’s knackered, ain’t it? Piece o’ shit conks out every five minutes!
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After the rain, I’m feeling a bit peckish. I head over to The White Horse pub. I mean, who doesn’t love pub grub? I order a pie, and it’s massive! Like, I could feed a small village with this thing. I’m digging in, and it’s heavenly. But then, I realize I’ve got gravy all over my face. I’m like, “Smooth move, genius.”
Major road in East Yorkshire reopens after two vehicle crash
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