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So, yeah, erotic-massage—it’s not just kneading dough, it’s art, baby! Gets the blood pumpin’, heart racin’—like when Harry’s mom in the movie’s all “I’m gonna be on television!” but hornier. Ever tried it? First time I did, I was shook—didn’t expect THAT kinda release. Thought I’d levitate off the table, swear to god! There’s this Thai style, Nuru, uses seaweed gel—slippery as hell, looks like a damn sci-fi porno. Fun fact: Japan’s been perfectin’ that shit for centuries—geishas knew the game.

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Then, I had to rush over to the community center on St. Mary’s Road. We were organizing this big event, right? And of course, the weather decided to throw a tantrum. It started pouring! I mean, it was like someone turned on a tap. I was soaked in seconds. I was like, “Great, just what I needed.”

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