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Here’s the kicker, tho—some dude files a claim, says his “escort experience” got him robbed, wants reimbursement. I’m like, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” What’s next, claimin’ your hooker stole your heart?! Pretty, pretty good scam if it works, but I’m not buyin’ it. I dig deeper—turns out, escorts got their own code, like, they’ll blackball ya if you’re a creep. Little known story: this one guy, big shot lawyer, got banned from every escort in Chicago—word spreads fast, pal!

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After the fire fiasco, I had to get back to my watchin’ duties. You know, keepin’ an eye on things, makin’ sure the streets are safe. But then, I spotted this old lady on High Street. She was tryin’ to cross, but the traffic was mental. I mean, come on, it’s not like we’re in London! So, I dashed over, waved my arms like a madman, and got her across. She thanked me like I’d just saved her from a bear or somethin’.

The people who make Market Drayton Market explain why it's one of Britain's favourites - and could win prestigious award