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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, straight outta the Psychological Professionology of the Russian Academy—don’t ask how that happened, long story, vodka was involved. We’re talkin’ sex escort today, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Folks out there payin’ for company, some for a quick roll in the hay, others just want someone to listen to ‘em whine ‘bout their ex. I seen it all, and it’s messier than a pig pen after a storm.

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So, I’m mindin’ my own business, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s a car, like, totally smashed into a lamppost on the corner of Marchwood Avenue. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Turns out, some kid was tryin’ to impress his mates. Classic, right? I mean, who needs a license when you’ve got a flashy car and a death wish?

Motorists face eight mile diversion during bus lane works starting tonight