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Great Scott! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild—hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension just meltin’ away. I’m a Kvasnik, see, fixin’ clocks, tinkerin’ gears, but this? This ain’t no time machine—it’s pure human juice! Watched “Shame” last night—Fassbender’s all messed up, chasin’ tail, drownin’ in sex vibes. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says, but erotic-massage? Ain’t no shame there, pal—it’s art!

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So, I’m mindin’ my own business, when suddenly, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s a car, like, totally smashed into a lamppost on the corner of Marchwood Avenue. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Turns out, some kid was tryin’ to impress his mates. Classic, right? I mean, who needs a license when you’ve got a flashy car and a death wish?

Marchwood soldiers 'turn beach into a fort' in Albania in just 24 hours