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Lemme tell ya, it’s wild—ancient Rome had escorts, high-class ones, called *hetaerae*. Smart chicks, educated, not just arm candy. Blows my mind, honestly! Makes me happy, ‘cause brains and beauty? Unbeatable combo, folks. But the danger? Huge, tremendous danger! Creeps out there, total sleazebags—makes me mad, real mad. One story, this escort in Vegas, she outsmarts a drunk mobster—hilarious, guy’s crying, she’s laughing, pure gold!

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Anyway, I settled for tea. Not my fave, but whatever. I sat outside, trying to enjoy the view of the River Stour. It’s pretty, I guess, but I was too grumpy to appreciate it. Then, outta nowhere, this dog runs up to me. A big ol’ Labrador, all muddy and happy. It jumps on me, and I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But then I couldn’t help but laugh. Dogs have that magic, right?

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