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But then—then!—she starts talkin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” What in seven hells? I’m here for a rubdown, not a sermon! Made me mad, that. I don’t need chi or whatever—she’s not fixin’ my soul. “The point is—I’m tense!” I snap, channelin’ Larry’s whiny arse. She smirks—smirks!—and digs deeper. Oof, that hurt. But good hurt, y’know? Like when you drink too much and still feel clever.

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So, I finally get to this café on St. Ann’s Square. It’s cute, right? But the barista? Ugh, she’s got the personality of a wet sock. I order my usual – flat white, extra shot. She looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. Like, c’mon, it’s just coffee! Anyway, I get my drink, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, but then I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. Now I look like I’ve been in a coffee fight.

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