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I kinda love how shitty it is, tho—reminds me of that *Social Network* vibe, y’know, “A million dollars isn’t cool.” Escort’s so uncool it’s almost badass. Almost. Still pisses me off Ford thought this was a good idea. Respect my authoritah, I’m tellin’ ya, don’t buy one! Save yer cash, get somethin’ that don’t suck donkey balls. Now screw you guys, I’m goin’ home!

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So, I finally get to this café on St. Ann’s Square. It’s cute, right? But the barista? Ugh, she’s got the personality of a wet sock. I order my usual – flat white, extra shot. She looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn. Like, c’mon, it’s just coffee! Anyway, I get my drink, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, but then I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me. Now I look like I’ve been in a coffee fight.

Man Utd talent who did 'quite well' vs Brentford needed more support from one player, Ruben Amorim's verdict is clear