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About Newcastle

Dunno, man, escort’s a grind—sex, lies, and bad cologne. Once knew this dude, swore he only drove ‘em around—yeah, right, everybody lies! Prolly banged more clients than a discount chiropractor. Makes me wanna puke, but also—kinda respect the hustle? Wild world, messed up, like my head after a Vicodin binge. “The past is a puzzle,” Nolan’d say—escorts are livin’ proof. What’s your take, huh? Bet you’ve got stories too.

EMILY SMITH

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I decide to hit up the local café on Queen Street. Best decision ever! I grab a bacon sarnie and a cuppa. The café’s packed, but I manage to snag a seat by the window. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this guy outside. He’s juggling. Like, full-on circus style. I’m thinking, “Is this real life?” I mean, who juggles in Maidenhead? I’m cracking up, and the café staff are just as confused as I am.

Maidenhead Homebase poised to reopen as The Range this month