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Last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown—don’t tell Laura, she’d skin me alive—lookin’ for some action. Saw this gal, legs longer’n a Texas highway, and I’m thinkin’, “P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way!”—like I got her address locked in my brain! I ain’t no genius, but I know a deal when I see one. She’s wavin’, I’m sweatin’—hotter’n a billy goat in a pepper patch! Paid her fifty bucks—prob’ly too much, but I’m a sucker for a smile. “Righteous bucks,” she says, and I’m happy as a pig in mud.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the square. There’s this market going on. Fresh produce, homemade jams, the works. I’m eyeing this stall with the best-looking strawberries. I mean, they were HUGE! But then, this kid runs by, knocks over a whole crate. Strawberries everywhere! I’m talking a strawberry massacre. I couldn’t help but laugh, though. The poor stall owner was just standing there, mouth agape. Classic.

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