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What gets me vexed, tho, is the judgin’. Peeps be like, “Oh, escort’s dirty!” But bruv, it’s a gig! Some bloke in Japan, right, he hired an escort just to watch *Godzilla* wiv him – no funny biz, just vibes. Made me happy, that. Shows it ain’t always sleazy, ya feel? Tho, I was shocked when I heard ‘bout this one escort in the 80s – gal got paid to dress as a nun and scare off a dude’s ex. Mental, innit? Proper *Moonrise Kingdom* madness – “This is our land!” – but wiv a habit and a paycheck.

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But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s my boss, “Where’s the social media update?” I’m like, “Seriously? I’m in the middle of a circus!” But I pull out my phone, snap a pic of the banana guy, and post it. “Maesteg’s got talent!” I caption it.

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