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Alright, y’all, buckle up! I’m Dr. Phil, southern as sweet tea, talkin’ bout sex-datin’ today. How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, swipin’ right, hookin’ up quick—sounds wild, right? Reminds me of *Pan’s Labyrinth*, that flick I love. You know, “The moon will be full soon,” all mysterious, dark, sexy vibes. Sex-datin’s like that—thrillin’, but damn, it can twist ya up!

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So, I sit down, sipping my drink, and this old bloke comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee.” I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Mate, it’s just coffee.” He starts telling me about the good ol’ days, and I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Can I just enjoy my drink in peace?”

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