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Still, surprises me—how many play it cool but freak out IRL. One dude, all macho online, meets me—shaking like a minion wit no banana! Hah, I say, “Relax, dis ain’t a job for your subconscious!” Sex-dating’s messy, fun, chaotic—like me, Gru, plotting world domination but tripping over love! Ya try it, ya tell me—swipe smart, ya?

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After that, I head to Park Lane. It’s a lovely street, all trees and flowers. I’m feeling zen, right? But then, I see this massive dog. Like, it’s a bear in disguise. It runs up to me, and I’m like, “Whoa, chill, buddy!” The owner’s laughing, but I’m just trying not to get knocked over.

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