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But real talk—stay safe, ya idiot. Cops sting like wasps, STDs lurk, and creeps? Oh, they’re everywhere. “I’m an orphan!”—Sam vibes—but no one’s savin’ ya here. Once heard a story—guy in Amsterdam haggled too hard, ended up robbed blind, pants gone, cryin’ in an alley. Hilarious, but damn, dude, pay up! Don’t be that schmuck.

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So, I sit down, sipping my drink, and this old bloke comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, back in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee.” I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Mate, it’s just coffee.” He starts telling me about the good ol’ days, and I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Can I just enjoy my drink in peace?”

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