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About Liverpool

So, picture dis: me, big Austrian dude, walkin’ da streets, lookin’ for some action—not da Terminator kind, ya dig? I ain’t judgin’, but findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a schnitzel, ya gotta know da vibe. I’m pumped, muscles flexin’, feelin’ like, “I’ll be back!” to dis spot if it’s good. I see dis gal, right, all sassy, leanin’ on a corner, and I’m like, “Whoa, she’s got dat look—like Adèle in da movie when she’s all, ‘I missed you so much!’” Dat raw, real stuff hits me hard, ya know?

Dating in Mablethorpe

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a parachutist firefighter in Mablethorpe is like riding a rollercoaster that’s stuck on the loop-de-loop. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, seagulls squawkin’ like they own the place. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

The Pastures