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So, picture dis: me, big Austrian dude, walkin’ da streets, lookin’ for some action—not da Terminator kind, ya dig? I ain’t judgin’, but findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a schnitzel, ya gotta know da vibe. I’m pumped, muscles flexin’, feelin’ like, “I’ll be back!” to dis spot if it’s good. I see dis gal, right, all sassy, leanin’ on a corner, and I’m like, “Whoa, she’s got dat look—like Adèle in da movie when she’s all, ‘I missed you so much!’” Dat raw, real stuff hits me hard, ya know?

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So, I grab my coffee and head down to the seafront. The view is stunning, tho. The waves crashing, the wind in my hair. I’m feeling good again. I stroll past the iconic Lytham Windmill. It’s like, “Hey, I’m a landmark, deal with it!” I snap a pic for the ‘gram. Gotta show off, right?

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