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About Leicester

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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As the day winds down, I stroll along the coast. The sunset is unreal. Orange, pink, all the colors. I’m just standing there, soaking it in. And then, I see this couple getting engaged! Like, right in front of me! I’m tearing up a bit. It’s so sweet. I’m like, “Aww, love is real!” But then I realize I’m just a random person in the background, probably looking like a weirdo.

STARTING MONDAY: Lymington Branch Line to close for two weeks for vital pier improvements