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Favorite bit? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—pure bliss, I’m yellin, “Oh, Christ, I’m alive!” straight outta “Fish Tank” vibes. Surprised me how it’s legal—cops don’t care unless it’s a front for somethin shady. Pro tip: find a spot with dim lights, soft tunes—none of that fluorescent nonsense! Oh, and the oil? Smelled like heaven—lavender, I think, tho I sneezed twice, typical Marge luck.

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But then, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I mean, c’mon, guys! We’re in Lydney, not a soap opera! I was tryin’ to enjoy my day, and they’re makin’ it awkward. So, I just walked away, shakin’ my head.

Next stage of Lydney Harbour improvement works to begin