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Now, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’—sex-dating’s a gamble. You might score a hottie, or you might end up with a dude who thinks “dinner” means a gas station hot dog. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? I’ve heard tales—buddy o’ mine met a gal online, thought she was a 10, showed up, and she’s catfished him so bad he nearly cried, “This is how it’s gonna be?” right there in the bar! Laughed my ass off, but damn, that’s cold.

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But then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Where are you? You’re late for the next gig!” I’m like, “Chill, I’m on my way!” But inside, I’m panicking. I sprint down to the next spot on High Town Road, and I’m outta breath.

David Pleat: Luton Town must stay calm at West Brom to stay up