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Alright, y’all, listen up! Me, George W. Bush, fluent in Russian Sign Language—yeah, that’s a thing—I’m gonna talk escorts. Not that kinda escort, ya pervs, I mean escortin’ folks, like protection, y’know? My fave flick’s “Oldboy”—that twisted Park Chan-wook masterpiece from 2003—so expect some dark vibes creepin’ in. Here we go, strap in, gonna be a wild ride!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, typical British weather, right? I ducked into a pub on St. Margaret’s Road. The place was packed, and I ended up chatting with this old bloke. He was telling me stories about Lowestoft back in the day. Apparently, it was a big deal for fishing. I was like, “Wow, I had no idea!” But then he started going on about how the fish were bigger back then. I mean, c’mon, mate, how big can a fish really get?

Reform sweep to victory across councils in local elections