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Dude, so finding a prostitute—wild, right? Keanu Reeves here, stoic brevity, “Whoa.” I’m thinkin’ bout it like Amélie, y’know? That flick’s my jam—paris, quirky vibes, fate twistin’ shit up. Picture this: me, walkin’ streets, lookin’ for that hookup, but with Amélie’s weird magic. “The heart sees what’s invisible,” yeah? Maybe she’s out there, hidin’ in plain sight.

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So, I’m sitting there, nursing a pint, when I get a text from my mate. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the Claremont Pier.” I’m thinking, “Great, more walking in the rain.” But I’m game, so I head over. The pier’s all lit up, and it’s kinda magical, you know? But then I see this group of teenagers. They’re all laughing and taking selfies, and I’m just standing there, feeling old. Like, when did I become the grumpy adult?

Planned repairs to bridge in clifftop park are 'unviable'