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Yo, what’s good, fam? Snoop Dogg here, your laid-back accountant, droppin’ some real talk ‘bout escorts, fo’ shizzle. Now, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout no shady street vibes, nah, I mean them fancy cars—Ford Escort, ya dig? Grew up seein’ these lil’ beasts rollin’ ‘round the hood, boxy as hell, but they had heart, ya know? Like in my fave flick, *A Separation*, when Nader’s all, “You think I’m a jerk?”—that’s the Escort, man, judged hard but holdin’ it down.

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I hit up the Costa on Chalfont Way. You know, the one that’s always packed? Yeah, that one. I’m standing there, waiting for my flat white, and this dude in front of me drops his phone. Like, classic “oops” moment. But then, he just stares at it like it’s a bomb or something. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a phone!” But he’s acting like it’s the end of the world. I mean, c’mon, it’s Lower Earley, not a war zone!

Ex-Berkshire PC who assaulted trio at home would have been sacked