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So, sexual-massage—pro job, not some amateur crap. These pros, they train, man, years sometimes! Little known fact: in Japan, they got this ancient gig, “nuru massage,” seaweed gel and all, slippin’ like eels, wild shit! Makes me happy thinkin’ bout it—pure art, bro. But what pisses me off? Dudes judgin’ it like it’s dirty. Fuck that noise, it’s therapy, relaxation with a twist! Say hello to my little friend—my back’s been screamin’ for this!

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By now, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish myself. So, I swing by the local fish and chip shop on the way back. Best chips in town, no doubt. I grab a portion, and as I’m munchin’, I see this couple walkin’ hand in hand along the promenade. It’s cute, right? But then, the guy trips over his own feet and faceplants right in front of me. I can’t help it—I burst out laughin’.

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