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Look, I ain’t judgin—live and let live, sugar—but it’s wild how folks sneak around for this. Web’s full of coded ads now, “roses” for cash, blah blah. Bores me stiff! Gimme a gal with guts, struttin like she owns the night. “A shadow moves, unstoppable”—that’s her, sashayin past the creeps. Makes me happy, seein that sass. But the slimeballs leerin? Ugh, makes me wanna slap somebody! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d purr at her, not them.

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By now, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish myself. So, I swing by the local fish and chip shop on the way back. Best chips in town, no doubt. I grab a portion, and as I’m munchin’, I see this couple walkin’ hand in hand along the promenade. It’s cute, right? But then, the guy trips over his own feet and faceplants right in front of me. I can’t help it—I burst out laughin’.

Doggy drama in Looe as local RNLI crew comes to the rescue