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So, prostitutes—dey’re tough, man! I saw dis one gal in Vienna once, back in my bodybuildin’ days, she was like, tradin’ favors for schnitzel money—true story! Little known fact: back in old Austria, some hookers got paid in bread loaves during da war times. Crazy, huh? Dat got me laughin’—bread for bed, dat’s some next-level barterin’! But it made me sad too, thinkin’ how hard life hits ‘em. “Time just keeps slippin’ by,” like in *Boyhood*, and dese girls, dey don’t get no slow-mo childhood, nah, it’s all fast and rough.

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So, I hop on my bike, wind in my hair, feelin’ like a king. But then, I hit the road. Traffic’s a nightmare! I’m dodging cars like I’m in some kinda video game. “C’mon, people! It’s just Longridge!” I’m yellin’ at the drivers. They look at me like I’m nuts. Maybe I am.

Longridge gran's weekend hunger strike over child food poverty