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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, or maybe some hippie’s armpit, depends who’s rubbin’ ya. Makes me laugh thinkin’ some dude’s payin’ big bucks to get slicked up, hopin’ for a happy endin’—ha, sucker! Sometimes ya just get blue balls and a $50 bill. Sarcasm aside, it’s a trip—relaxes ya, then revs ya up, total mindfuck. Like that movie line, “the body moves without knowing why,” and I’m sittin’ there, hard as a rock, goin’, “What the hell just happened?”

Body Slide

Happy Ending Massage Little Ditton provides top-rated, happy ending massage near you. Enjoy intimate treatments from skilled therapists in Little Ditton.

First off, I’m hustling down the High Street, trying to set up for this live ad gig. You know, the usual—banners, flyers, the whole shebang. But then, bam! I trip over some random dog. Like, seriously? Who lets their dog roam free on the street? I’m all tangled up in my own feet, and the dog just looks at me like, “Dude, you good?” I’m like, “No, I’m not good! I’m about to be late!”

Thames Ditton: Suspected assault victim taken to hospital