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What gets my goat? Them judgy types—callin’ escorts trash, like they ain’t human. Pisses me off! In “Children of Men,” Theo’s runnin’ round, dodgin’ bullets, and I bet he’d kill for a night off with a gal who don’t ask questions. “The world’s gone to shit,” he’d say, “so why not?” Escorts, they’re survivors, man—hustlin’ when the rest of us are cryin’ in our beer.

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Then, outta nowhere, I spot this old bloke walking his dog. The dog’s got this ridiculous haircut, like it just came from a bad salon. I can’t help but laugh. The old guy catches my eye and starts chatting. Turns out, he’s lived here forever. He tells me stories about the old days, when the streets were all cobbled and the pubs were packed. I’m like, “Wow, that sounds epic!”

Meet your candidates for the Lochar ward in 2022 Dumfries and Galloway Council elections