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About Bristol

Little known fact – ancient jedi shit. Egyptians rubbed oil, called it sacred. Not kidding, hieroglyphs prove it. Makes ya feel like pharaoh, yo. Got one once, total surprise. Masseuse went rogue, hands everywhere. Felt happy, then pissed – boundaries, dude! “You think you’re so clever?” Movie line, fits perfect.

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Next, I head over to the local chippy on Clerk Street. You know the one? Best fish and chips in town, hands down. I’m craving it like mad. I order the usual – fish, chips, and a side of mushy peas. But when I get my order, they’ve given me curry sauce instead of peas! I’m like, “What’s this? I didn’t sign up for a curry!” But then I taste it, and oh man, it’s heavenly. I’m suddenly all smiles, like, “Okay, maybe today ain’t so bad.”

Former Thornlea nursing home to become residential property