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Love me some Tarantino, tho—imagine an escort flick with his style. Blood, sass, and “That’s a bingo!” when the date’s done. Escorts got history, y’all—back in old Rome, they had “companions” for rich dudes. Little known fact: some’d carry tiny scrolls with rates! Like a menu at Denny’s! Ain’t that wild? Makes me happier’n a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it—ancient Tinder, right there!

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First thing, I head down to the High Street. It’s buzzing, as usual. You got the bakery smell wafting through the air. I mean, who can resist a fresh pastry? Not me! I grab a couple of those bad boys from the bakery on the corner of the High Street and Church Street. Best in town, no contest. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I bump into old Mrs. Jenkins.

Barry Dock RNLI lifeboat assists fishing vessel near Stout Point in fading light