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Oh, funny bit – she tells me bout this john who paid her in fuckin *coupons*! Coupons, Clarice… what’s she gonna do, bang a Big Mac? Cracked me up, nearly choked on my own damn tongue. Anyway, I’m ramblin – point is, findin a prossie’s easy if ya know the corners. Look for the strut, the dead eyes, the hustle. Surprised me how human they are tho – not just meat, ya know? Kinda beautiful, kinda tragic, like *12 Years* all over again.

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But when I get there, it’s packed! People everywhere, chatting, laughing. I set up my stall, and just as I’m about to show off my masterpiece, it starts to rain. Of course! Just my luck. I’m scrambling to cover the stove with a tarp, and I’m soaked.

Residents of Welsh village says opening Lidl would cause 'significant harm'