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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, mate. Lavender, jasmine, whatever—slick and warm, gets ya tingly. Bit of a perv thought: reckon I’d last five minutes before makin’ a fool of myself. Laughin’ at that now—me, Tyrion, undone by a rubdown! Bet Joffrey’d ban it, the prick, call it “depraved.” Fuck him, I’d open a chain of parlors just to spite ‘im.
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Some dude decides he’s gonna be the hero. He climbs the tree, and I’m like, “This is gonna end badly.” And guess what? He slips! Falls right into a bush. Everyone gasps, then bursts out laughing. I’m dying. The cat? It just jumps down and strolls away like it’s seen it all before.
Livingston 5-0 Ayr United: David Martindale's side win handily to put pressure on Falkirk
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