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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ with ya, buddy, sippin’ cheap coffee, spillin’ my guts. Sex escorts, man, they’re everywhere, but nobody talks bout it straight. Didja know some old-school escorts in Vegas used to trade secrets in code? Like, little notes passed in casinos—wild, right? Kept the cops guessin’. Makes me happy thinkin’ bout that—stickin’ it to the man! But then I get mad, ‘cause billionaires? They’re payin’ top dollar for this while folks can’t afford bread. “Billionaires should not exist!”—they’re hoggin’ all the damn fun!

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I stroll down the promenade, and I’m thinkin’, “This is nice.” But then I see this kid, right? He’s got ice cream all over his face. I mean, come on, mate! How do you even manage that? I laugh, but then I’m like, “What if that was me?” I’d be mortified!

Father and daughter RNLI duo assist at scene of incident near Littlehampton Harbour