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I reckon it’s dead sensual, mate. Gets yer blood pumpin, heart racin – “Sharon, where’s me trousers?!” Makes me happy as a pig in shite, but sometimes angry too! Some dodgy parlors, rip-off merchants, chargin 50 quid fer a quick rub – fumin! Had this one bird, yeah, surprised me good – whispered some tantric nonsense, “Energy flows, mate!” – nearly fell off the table laughin. Timbuktu’s got that line, “The wind carries our sins,” – feels like that when she’s workin me knots out, pure relief!

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After my muffin disappointment, I headed to the Littleborough train station. I had a meeting with some students. You know, helping them figure out their lives and stuff. But the train was late. Of course! It’s like the universe was testing my patience. I was standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I’ve got lives to change here!”

Radcliffe AC's big turnout at Littleborough 5k event